


Butterfly Effect (Kuroo x Reader)

by kuroolongtea



Category: Haikyuu!!, ハイパープロジェクション演劇「ハイキュー!!」| Hyper Projection Play "Haikyuu!!" RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Romance, Angst and Tragedy, Butterfly Effect, F/M, Gen, Heavy Angst, Light Angst, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:14:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29524155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuroolongtea/pseuds/kuroolongtea
Summary: Five years after losing your boyfriend to an unfortunate accident, you’re miraculously granted the opportunity to save his life—but at what cost?
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 19





	Butterfly Effect (Kuroo x Reader)

**Author's Note:**

> hi, i was impulsive again, thus the birth of this fic. it doesn’t follow the butterfly effect as accurately as i’d like, but the idea is there lol—please do let me know what you thought! i rarely write things like this so i’d love to know :3

> _“Written in the genetic code of the caterpillar, waiting to be realized in the dark isolation,”_

A small shiver runs down your spine as you slip into bed, the sheets cold, bare, and lonely without him. So foreign, yet so familiar.

You look down and notice the digital clock on your nightstand strike midnight as four zeros display themselves in a neat row across the screen, indicating the start of a new day.

A sigh escapes your parted, quivering lips as your tired eyes glance over at the framed picture of you and Kuroo, sitting just beside your lamp. You gently pick up the photo, a finger ghosting over the edge of his cheek, stopping just above his mouth, spread into a wide smile while he pulls you close.

Today marks five full years since he’d left. 

Five long, painful years since the accident that took _everything_ from you.

As much as you wish it weren’t so, the details of that night are still carved into your memory vividly like it was just yesterday. 

You still remember your burning fever, the thundering raindrops crashing into your window panes from the storm, and the sound of your boyfriend shuffling out the door to buy Tylenol, since the pharmacy is just “a short drive away.”

You still remember the stupid smirk on Kuroo’s face when he said he’d be back before you knew it, the consequent wait which turned from seconds to minutes to hours, and the call you’d gotten from a number and a voice you didn’t recognize, accompanied by screeching sirens and howling winds in the background that still haunt you in your sleep.

You still remember the ringing in your ears as the voice said something about “emergency contact,” “died instantaneously,” and, worst of all, “I’m so sorry.” You’re not really sure. That part is the only part which remains hazy.

All you knew was, he never came back.

“Today’s our anniversary,” you whisper to the picture, forcing your trembling lips to curl into a small smile. “I wonder what we would’ve done to celebrate together this year.”

You sit in silence for a few seconds, as if waiting for a response. But when you’re met with nothing but the still, quiet air—like you have all these years—the lump in your throat thickens and your vision begins to blur.

“I miss you so much, y’know that?” you laugh, the sound coming out more like a choked cry than anything else as hot tears start streaming down your face. Slowly at first, then all at once, relentlessly. “It’s been five years and it still hurts so _fucking_ bad.”

Your teeth dig into your bottom lip as the words leave your mouth, as though _willing_ the ache in your heart to go away and the tears on your cheeks to dry.

Despite knowing that none of what happened was your fault, you can’t help but wonder how different things could’ve been if he never left that night, if you’d never gotten sick. God, you’d give anything to go back and ask him to stay. 

Anything for him to come home safe.

 _Anything_. 

You blink at the teardrop which had landed on the frame’s glass, quickly wiping it away before you hear his familiar voice in your head scolding you for crying again.

“Sorry,” you sniffle, patting your face with the palms of your hands. “Life is just really hard without you, sometimes. All the time, honestly.”

Taking a deep, shaky breath, you slowly put the picture back onto the nightstand and slide the silver, diamond ring off your finger as well.

It was given to you in a sealed plastic bag, along with the rest of Kuroo’s belongings from the scene of the accident, and it was only then you realized that he’d planned to propose to you on your anniversary. Perhaps if you hadn’t come down with a fever at the last minute, you would’ve seen him get down on one knee.

The corners of your lips twitch into a bitter smile at the thought: that was supposed to be one of the most important nights of your life, where you said ‘yes’ to committing to the person you loved most, and thought about the beginning of a beautiful new future together, filled with endless possibilities.

Instead, it became the night everything was brutally ripped away from you.

The bedroom blackens as you turn off the lamp on your bedside table, placing what should’ve been your engagement ring beside the picture of you and the man who should’ve been your fiancé.

“Good night,” you murmur into the darkness, holding back a sob to ignore the growing dampness on your pillowcase. 

“I love you.”

* * *

> _“Inside the chrysalis, are beautiful and chaotic wings,”_

Your lids feel dry, heavy, and hot as you crack an eye open.

Something feels different, yet so familiar.

“Hey, you awake?”

Your blood runs cold at the voice.

There’s no way.

Are you dreaming?

But you’ve seen Kuroo in your dreams thousands of times, and your dreams have never, _would_ never be so kind as to show you his face in such detailed clarity, as he makes his way towards the side of your bed. The face you’ve missed so dearly, every day for the past five years.

It’s unmistakably him.

Your eyes widen as Kuroo leans down and presses the back of his hand to your forehead, the sensation against your skin much too cool, too _real_ to be an illusion.

“Your fever hasn’t gone down,” he sighs in disappointment as you stare at him, still speechless with disbelief. “Looks like it can’t be helped—I’ll go buy you some Tylenol from the pharmacy right now.”

“Wait!” you practically cry as Kuroo stands up, startled at your outburst. “D-don’t go.”

There’s too much happening for you to process, including the old layout of your bedroom from before you’d reorganized everything out of grief, but you only have one thing on your mind: keep him here.

“It’ll be a quick trip,” Kuroo chuckles, patting the top of your head reassuringly like he always does. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“NO!” you yell, trying to push yourself up from the bed with what little bodily strength you have left. Your brain feels like it’s going to split open in excruciating pain. “Please just—just stay here. Please.”

He raises an eyebrow at you in concern, leaning back down to level his eyes with yours before asking gently, “Hey, is everything okay?”

“Y-yeah, I just,” you sputter, unsure of what to say, absolutely _terrified_ that one wrong word will send him right back out the door if he doesn’t take you seriously. You’re not sure if you can survive losing him again. “Will you please stay with me? Please?”

Kuroo hesitates, clearly torn at the sight of sweat beads forming on your temple as a result of your fever. Or maybe it’s from the fear. Frankly, you’re not sure.

“Baby, you’re burning,” he tries to reason, but his expression already softens at your wide, pleading eyes on the cusp of desperation and panic.

“I’ll be okay,” you reassure him with a tired, forced smile. You definitely didn’t remember being in this much physical pain five years ago. But if this is the second chance the stars have granted you, you have to find a way to keep him here, even if it kills you. “Really.”

Kuroo hesitates and finally lets out a sigh of defeat, rendered powerless before you, as always.

“Can you hold it?” you murmur, reaching a hand out for him.

“Sure,” he gives you a soft grin. “I’ll hold it as long as you want.”

“Good, don’t let go,” you breathe with a small sigh of relief, finally allowing yourself to lay back down as Kuroo pulls the nearest chair up to your bed. 

“I won’t,” he hums, planting his lips on your bare, ring finger. He watches you carefully, his gaze just as full of care and tenderness as you remembered.

“Promise you won’t wait until I fall asleep to sneak out to the pharmacy,” you mumble, your eyes already closing once more, against your will. Why are you so exhausted?

“Promise,” Kuroo chuckles softly, extending his other arm out to wipe away a stray tear that’s trickled down your cheek. He doesn’t know what’s wrong, but if you don’t want him to leave your side, then he won’t.

You’re barely clinging onto consciousness now as you manage to utter the last thing you can think of saying to him in the moment, the simple, but important words leaving your lips in a tired slur.

“I love you.”

Kuroo gives you a small smile as leans in to press a gentle kiss to the tip of your nose.

“I love you too.”

* * *

> _“And with their flapping, flowers shall bloom,”_

You’re woken up by the pounding in your head, and your eyes fly open once memories of what happened the night before slowly come to light in the darkness of your bedroom at 6 a.m.

It is, once again, in its new arrangement with all the furniture, signifying your return to the present-day.

Was that real?

It had to be.

It _had_ to be.

There was no way you dreamt, imagined, or hallucinated any of that.

It was too warm, too _raw_.

But there’s only one way to find out.

Your mind a frenzy, heart racing faster than your brain can think, you don’t bother changing out of your pajamas as you slip into your shoes quicker than you ever have before. It doesn’t even occur to you to grab your phone or your keys when you sprint through the door, as if your life depends on it. As if _his_ life depends on it.

Kuroo’s apartment isn’t far from yours—it was his idea to live close together, after all. And if what you think happened really _did_ happen, then he should be there.

He has to be.

And you have to see for yourself, you have to touch him, to hold him, to know he’s okay. Frankly, you’re not sure if you can continue living if he’s not. 

He _has_ to be.

The journey there feels like a blur as you run through the streets in the cold air of dawn, the wind stinging your cheeks and bringing tears to your eyes. Your lungs are practically screaming with exhaustion, your legs _begging_ you to rest while your mind pleads them to hold on just a bit longer, just a few more streets until you reach him.

And after what feels like an eternity, you do.

You knock on his front door, the same door you’ve seen so many times, both before and after the accident, in happiness and in mourning.

Your freezing knuckles pound against the wood again, and you feel your heart sink with dread—what if last night _was_ a dream? Could you _really_ be granted such a miracle? Is that even—

But then, the door finally swings open, and you see him.

Kuroo, the man you loved and continue to love, who looks like he hasn’t aged a day.

Still as handsome and as familiar as he was five years ago, as he was yesterday. 

He’s okay. He’s safe. He’s _here_.

For a moment, you’re afraid that this is all a dream, but you know it isn’t. Not with the way your lungs are still burning from the sharp, icy air as you find it harder and harder to breathe, at a complete and utter loss for words.

Kuroo looks both surprised and tired, even, at the sight of you, a flustered, panicked, mess and standing outside his door before the sun has even fully risen, but you don’t blame him. 

It’s early, and, to him, you just almost barged into his apartment unannounced.

 _Say something_ , you tell yourself. _Don’t just stand there._

“You’re okay—”

You’re cut off by the sound of someone else’s footsteps approaching Kuroo from behind, an unfamiliar voice carrying through the doorway.

“Who is it, baby?”

A woman you don’t recognize shuffles to Kuroo’s side, tightening the waistband around her robe as she rubs her eyes in fatigue. She wraps an arm around his torso, the both of them now watching you in confusion, as if expecting an explanation.

“What’re you doing here?” Kuroo finally asks, his voice devoid of any hostility, filled with only genuine confusion.

You open your mouth to speak, but your throat feels dry, and nothing comes out.

Your eyes fall to the silver band on the woman’s left ring finger, and when you catch sight of the matching one on Kuroo’s hand—resting gently above hers—realization hits you. That’s... his lover, and it’s not you. Not in this version of reality.

Your heart suddenly feels as though it’s been ripped out of your chest and shattered into a million pieces beyond repair, the fragments bloodied, small and jagged on the pavement.

It can’t be.

“I—” you choke, still gaping like a fucking _moron_ at the two of them, now completely unattached to how odd, maybe even crazy, you seem. “I’m sorry.”

And with that, you back away, and _run_.

You run and don’t look back, leaving them behind, still unable to process the shock of everything that’s happened.

Is this your new reality?

The air must be getting colder as the sun rises, because your eyes sting more than ever, helpless tears streaming furiously down your cheeks. Your whole world feels as though it’s finally been rebuilt, only to come crashing down on you in a split second.

You should’ve known.

There must be a price to pay for altering the past, and this is yours. The future must change accordingly, in ways that can’t be predicted. In ways that don’t make sense. It’s basic chaos theory.

Even in matters of equivalent exchange, something must be taken when another is given. And in exchange for Kuroo’s life, the universe has taken everything else, as if mocking you in its own twisted way.

You feel selfish for the agonizing ache in your chest, the one that has you gasping for air in the middle of the street, alone and on the brink of what feels like madness itself. Because what matters is that he’s _safe_ ; his happiness has always come before your own, after all.

Isn’t that what love is?

And you know that if it were to save your life, Kuroo would have, without a doubt, done the same thing in a heartbeat.

Maybe not in this new lifetime, but in the one where _you_ were still the love of his life.

The one you once knew.

The one in the past, which now never existed, left without a trace.

All you can do is live with the peace of knowing that at least the person you’d give anything for can still have the chance to experience the joys of life, of truly being _alive_ , and of love—even if it isn’t with you.

> _“And hurricanes shall be created.”_

* * *

—poem by daniel saint.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading :')  
> feel free to follow me on tumblr @kuroolongtea where i'm more active!  
> comments are greatly appreciated, and i hope you enjoyed this fic ♡


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